Many of our wonderful friends and family have already begun asking us what to expect once we come home...what they should do or should not do. Let me start by saying that the loving act of them asking this is absolutely amazing. What a selfless act out of their love for little Orange. And it also shows that they truly understand that this is the beginning of her journey, not the end. Her healing starts the day we come home. It will be a long road, and we want to start off doing what is best for her...not what is best for other people. And we are humbled and thankful that so many of our friends and family get that. It's hard to "get"...it's very different from bringing a newborn home from the hospital...but there are also some similarities. You want everyone to come out to the (hospital) airport to see your new child. That is the same. You want the house quiet, calm, low stimulus. That is the same. You want to limit visitors for the first several weeks...that is the same. But, there are some big differences and we want to begin to talk about that.
First, try to put yourself in her shoes to understand what this must be like for her. She will hardly know her new mommy and daddy....and she certainly won't think of us as her mommy and daddy for a while. We are going to be the strange looking, strange speaking strangers that took her away from her loving nannies and brought her on a long strange flight to a strange place with strange people, places, smells, language, and routines (yes, lots of strange). Not to mention her heart is broken again b/c she truly loved her special nannies at Hannah's Hope. And she was still recovering from a broken heart of leaving her precious birth mother. So, we wanted to express that so people won't think that we are cruel with our plans to keep others away when we come home. She will need to heal. She needs to get to know us and her sister and her
MiMi that lives with us. She needs to get to know her new food, language, toys, backyard, how to sit at her new dining room table, how to take a bath in her new tub, how to let us care for her, how to play with her new sister, etc. It's big. Sometimes I even lose that focus when I start to feel bad about keeping others away...until I put myself back in her shoes. And that is what I will keep doing, because I am her mom and that is what I need to do and want to do for her....keep her needs first.
So for now, this is what we are thinking. Our local airport has 2 levels....the lower level baggage claim and the upper level that leads to the terminals. We would love to have all friends and extended family on the lower level, and our close relatives (Orange's sister, her grandparents, our brothers, their wives, and their children) upstairs. That way little Orange will first be able to meet her sissy and her family and spend a little time with them prior to meeting friends downstairs. Then we will all come down as a family to greet our friends and extended family. I don't know how long we'll stay at the airport...it will all depend on little Orange. If she seems comfortable (I will be holding her the entire time in a side carrier/sling), then we'll stick around for a little bit. If she is upset, then we'll say our hellos and let everyone get a good look at her cute self and then dart out to head home.
Once we leave the airport, we will have a no-visitors policy for 2 weeks. None. Just those of us that live in the home will be in the home. This is her time and our time to get a feel for our new family dynamics. Her broken heart needs to heal (and this will be a long process...years). Her fear of new places needs some time to subside. After 2 weeks, we want close family and friends to start to come over...spread out over time as to not be too overwhelming. So please just call us if you want to plan a time to come over. And feel free to call us just to chat and see how she is doing. We will not be traveling for Christmas or New Years...as that is only 3-4 weeks after she has come home. But, we do want to see close family and friends over the holidays at our home...so just call us and we'll make plans. After 6-8 weeks home with limited visitors, we will then begin to branch out and go into a more normal routine...still keeping our world small and not doing anything extravagant or overstimulating. So we will be seen at the park but not the bounce house if you know what I mean. We'll come to more relaxing gatherings. And then we'll play it by ear from then on. Because truly, we are getting to know her too during that time. I can't tell you right now how she will
respond or what makes her feel better, because I don't know her at all. We will have a week in Ethiopia to begin to know the basics...what she likes to eat, how she likes to sleep, if she likes baths, what games/toys she likes and dislikes, what words she knows, etc.
We still haven't received fixed travel dates, but we have been told to plan to be in Ethiopia the end of this month. THIS MONTH! What wonderful words! We are basically packed and ready to go....just
tweaking and readjusting our bags when one weighs too much and one has some room in it, etc. We have a lot to do to prepare this month. Taking down Halloween decorations and putting up Christmas decorations (yes, b/c I will not want to do that after coming home exhausted from our trip to Ethiopia), getting the
donations bins ready for travel, ordering plane tickets, finishing Eva's schedule while we are gone, cleaning the house (gulp, that is a biggie), and enjoying our time as a family of 3. We are cherishing our individual time with Eva and loving on her as much as we can. She is such a joy and she makes us laugh constantly. We are really looking forward to having our Orange home and we want to thank you all, especially our family and friends, for your care and concern for our Orange when she comes home!
Is it true? Could we truly be meeting our daughter in 25 days? November 29th? Oh, how I wish we would get our Embassy Appointment so that we would know. Our agency is guessing that our appt will be on Nov 30th, and that would make our Gotcha Day November 29th. That would be glorious (so would sooner, but hey). I just wish we would hear something from the Embassy. What are they doing? We passed court on October 14th. That was over 3 weeks ago. So, I am sending this plea out there that we will hear something soon...something good. Our bags are packed. I took the Halloween decorations down and put up a few special Christmas decorations. Not overdoing it. Keeping the house decluttered is my goal. But I also knew that I wouldn't want to decorate once we came back...because that would require me taking my eyes off this precious little girl (look at those sweet hands!), so I did it now. We are basically ready. The donation bins need to be sorted...I need to take a picture of ALL the donations. It makes me so very happy. So if you are wondering about me, then you know what I am doing. Waiting around for a phone call that tells us when we travel. Waiting. Again.
One weekend in October, we went on a camping trip with our good friends Shannon & Todd. Eva absolutely loves to camp. I have spared you all the pics of us in the hot spring hot tub, haha. But it was fab. We enjoyed our campfire coffee (pic above) and the beauty and simplicity of the outdoors. Just looking at the pics makes me cold though. It was in the 40's during the day...and I think we'll take a warm camping trip next time.
